playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
