yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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