sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
