We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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