remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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