Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
