the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I bet he comes in French.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
