omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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