Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
