dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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