Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize