Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
