you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
