I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
