I'm gonna have a badass scar
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
