She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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