I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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