I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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