Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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