It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
