Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
