just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
