I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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