yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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