I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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