it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And my parents said I crawled through the house
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
