Having a random hookup so left but love u
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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