Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
