It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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