She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize