I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
