Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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