she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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