He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
