Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there is glitter all over my balls
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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