I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
