Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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