That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
