Got a toothbrush?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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