i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize