We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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