so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
