Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
