No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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