I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
