1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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