I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
