no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
