hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
