This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
