even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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