I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
