Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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