I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
