Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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