i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
