i would punch a child for taco bell
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
