I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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