In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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