you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize