He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
