So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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