Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
