dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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