thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
