Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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