I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
