dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
