i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
