god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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