Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
