How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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